I'm not questioning your patriotism, Mr. Kerry

Delving into the Democrat Presidential Campaign Guide - Lesson #1

When your voting record is called into question, claim your opponent is "challenging your patriotism."

Nothing could be more damaging to your campaign than to give your opponent the chance to discuss the specifics regarding twenty years of your positions, votes, policies -- not to mention your platform for office.

Nothing aides our friends in the media better than producing a sound bite that brushes off the valid challenging of your political principles and instead lashes out at your opponent. This way, the press can paint your opponent as mean-spirited and closed-minded, while letting you off the hook without having to give a valid rebuttal. (I would suggest you get on your knees to thank God for this, but let's face it -- liberals don't need to believe in God -- that's what government is for.)

WARNING: Always phrase your response "How dare my opponent attack my patriotism!" Never make the error of stating "Comment défi mon attaque opposée mon patriotisme!" Doing so will cause certain southern Democrats to lash out at the party, resulting in a 13-point drop in the polls.