"My Life" humor

"It's actually longer than the new Harry Potter book. And both of them, I believe, are about a boy and his wand." -David Letterman

"In an upcoming interview with Dan Rather, Bill Clinton says he had an affair with Monica Lewinsky 'just because I could.' And a moment later Hillary said the same thing after she hit him with a lamp." -Craig Kilborn

"President Bill Clinton's autobiography is coming out next week. Clinton is going on one of those book tours in New York City next week and they are expecting huge crowds. So, to keep the crowd moving, he'll only sign one breast." -David Letterman

"Bill Clinton has a brand new book coming out in a few months and the Democrats are worried that the Clinton book might upstage the Kerry campaign. I'm thinking, hell, day-old meat loaf could upstage that campaign." -David Letterman

"Don't kid yourself, this is disturbing. Stories coming out about degrading photographs, nude pyramids, sexual humiliation. Of course I'm talking about Bill Clinton's memoir." -David Letterman